nel&nana

nel&nana
Originally uploaded by purpldaze.

So glad theres Holis !

Moving towards the middle of the holis, dammmz...isn it fast ! Well it is better than nothing at all.. I was readin some mails, as usual deleting the dumb chained mails, and came across an interesting caption.

"Self acceptance is hard for many of us. There is a
voice inside that is constantly judging, first
ourselves and then others. That voice enjoys the
indulgence of an endless negative critique. Because we
have learned to believe negativity is more realistic,
it appears more real than any positive voice. Once we
begin to replace negative thinking with positive
thinking, it becomes utterly clear that, far from
being realistic, negative thinking is absolutely
disenabling. When we are positive we not only accept
and affirm ourselves, we are able to affirm and accept
others.

The more we accept ourselves, the better prepared we
are to take responsibility in all areas of our
lives...
Taking responsibility does not mean that we deny the
reality of institutionalised prejudice. For example,
racism, sexism and homophobia all create barriers and
concrete incidents of discrimination. Simply taking
responsibility does not mean that we can prevent
discriminatory acts from happening. But we can choose
how we respond to acts of injustice. Taking
responsibility means that in the face of barriers we
still have the capacity to invent our lives, to shape
our destinies in ways that maximise our well-being.
Every day we practice this shape shifting to cope with
realities we cannot easily change."

- bell hooks, "all about love"

I thought this was really great. meaningful. Something that i would print and paste on my desk. Thanks Hui Yee for sharing your holiday reading. It came upon me, why are we so judgemental? prejudice? discriminate? bias? do stuffs at other peoples expense?
This holiday gave me a good time reflecting on myself, family, surrounding, colleagues and of course, my new workplace. I admit, I felt so mentally drained. exhausted when i sat and think. I thought i was upset, guess that is not the exact word I am looking for. There are certain unpleasant factors about a person that makes up the person. I am not pointing at anybody but doing it to myself. I guess, as human being, the ability to accept differences is good enough for a start. I resisted many things back then. Perhaps due to culture and background. But friends are the visual holes that I looked into and through. Being in NIE, has make me a successful Observer. I learnt more about the wonders of people and myself. I gained pals whom I treasured. As tiring as it could be, thinking of the above mentioned has satisfied me. I feel when I start to think critically, i dont get too upset.. Maybe because i am not on my emotional side anymore. Along the way, I am glad i bumped into those "unique" people, who never fail to make me smile when i do my daily reflection:) Now, i no longer upset myself and ask," Why are they like that?"
One thing for sure, "OBLIVION PRESERVES SANITY"- quotes Zu :)

a representation

"U can control me"

Draw draw doodle doodle!

pals unravelling .....

Post-12May

The opening of the exhibition is finally over. Many things ran in unexpectedly. People i expected to turn up, ended up in absence. The ones i thought would not be able to make it, actually appear to support... My 1st guest Dee, my HOD. And followed by some others.

My performance was unexpected. The best part of the performance was i managed to get the minister to join me in my performance and the worst- my dear guest, Naz didn get to watch the show because i asked her to check out the music for me. I am so sorry(feeling very very guilty), i know u came to watch it. Will make it up to U! *promise*

The performance was made possible with the wonderful help of Zu-Raihan, Sarah, Siti, Julie, Alvin(for announcing) and of course, Naz(still feeling guilty). Thank you guys. I am really grateful and touched by the help, right from the beginning to the end where i had to clean the salt off the ground. I owe all one:)

Acknowledgements

Special thanks to the beautiful people who has contributed in my research and the upcoming performance @NIE Art Gallery. Tang Da Wu, who has been responsible in my baby steps in performance art. Juliana Yasin, for being very supportive of my works and thoughts. The lecturers in NIE- Colin Reaney, Hasan, John Matthews, Paul Lincoln, Juneo Lee:) and of course Cecily Cheo. The support given was tremendously wonderful and Cecily- you are the best!!

And to my friends, Norsarah, Siti Annazia, Zurainah and bf(Raihan), Joyce Teh- for believing in me. Not forgetting the backbone of my research, Eileena Lee and Charm for providing information on homosexuals and homophobias.

The video work could not have done without the kind support(sponsor) from Nelly De Picardie. The true blue gay women who has bring lots of "life" in my work and research!